A nice email conversation with Shelley

Today, I sent Shelley Goodman (AKA Republitard Number 1) an email asking her to have a conversation with me. Sure, it may not have ben too polite, but that’s the way it goes. Although she was not as mature as I would have expected. And I did not expect much. Here is our email conversation so far…

Me:

Please reply so I can tell you how retarded you are in every single detail.

Shelley:

How dare you? Didn’t your mother teach you to have some respect?

Me:

I am sorry, but when there is a person that thinks yoga is sinful, lollipops should be made illegal, slavery is a myth, global warming does not exist, obama is a muslim, and that hates nazis, even though you share the similarities of hating jews, black people, and homosexuals, i can’t really tell if you are retarded or not.

P.S. My mother is dead.

Shelley:

The truth hurts, doesn’t it? Good for your mom I guess. She prolly died because you made her life a living hell. And I bet you are bald, too!

Me:

Wow, real mature. I actually loved my mother very much and my family was devastated when she died. She was a devout Christian, too. Thanks for making fun of that. Why don’t you just go back to calling random people you see on the street sinners because they don’t have shirts that say “I HEART JESUS” on 24/7, or whatever you do with your free time. And please stop posting hateful, ungodly things on your stupid, stupid website.

Shelley:

I am just trying to find out the reason. Sorry, but if my daughter Lisa would be as Godless as you are, I would probably die, too

Me:

Do you even read my messages or do you just look at the subject pane?

Shelley:

It’s not worth it to read a message from somebody that hates Jesus.

Me:

I don’t hate Jesus. I just don’t think that he is a redneck asshole like you.

Shelley:

See?  You are a hateful person. By definition you do hate Jesus. Nothing wrong with being a redneck, but very wrong to call a Christian wife and mother “asshole”. You need to change your ways, son.

Me:

Miss, you have said so many mean and hurtful things on your blog, me calling you an asshole does not even begin for us to be even.

Shelley:

I have never said anything mean and hurtful in my life. What you mean is “the truth”.. and the truth hurts sometimes.

Me:

Sigh…some people are just sooo stupid. It’s really said, actually. It’s sad.

She hasn’t replied to that one yet, but I can’t wait until she does. It’s either going to be a really long and laughable response, or a 2 sentence reply making fun of my face.