Shelley and the Sin of Yoga

Well, it’s official. Shelley is a retard. Why don’t you just take a look at her post on how yoga is a sin. yeah. Yoga.

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/2008/06/10/yoga.aspx

So don’t do yoga, or you’ll be closing your mind to god and opening it to the devil! oOoOoOOoH nOoOOoOOooo! Check out these helpful hints on how not to do yoga!

• - Yoga is against God
• - Yoga is opening your Mind to the Devil
• - Yoga is being used to seduce minors into sexual activity
• - Yoga is a gateway to sexual promiscuity
• - God does not want us to be naked outside of the shower
• -There are strong ties between Yoga and Satanism by the way.

Oh, dear. Now where does God say that he doesn’t like yoga? Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because he never said it? And how, may I ask, is yoga opening your mind to the devil? How the heck is laying in a certain position devil worshipping? Ooh, an open mind! You devil lover! And is yoga being used to seduce minors into sexual activity? “hey little boy, want to come sit in weird positions with me? It’s so hot. Yeaahhh.” I’m sure that happens a lot. And finally, god does not want us to be naked outside of the shower. Hm so next time you are having *relations* with your partner, be sure to keep all your clothes on. Good luck with that.

And one more thing…

“Confront Yogaists. I don’t think God minds if you hit them or shoot them.”

-Shelley Goodman

Shelley’s View on Slavery? It’s Fake!

There are just so many things morally and factually wrong with this post. Read it for yourself, but I’ll warn you, you may just have to stop on the first sentence.

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/2009/03/03/slavery-in-america-did-it-really-happen.aspx

I’m just going to list all the things wrong with this.

1. Obama (and the rest of the democratic party) does NOT hate America! If he did, why would he have become the president of the country?? And the only reason she thinks that he does is because he and the rest of the democratic party, is not completely obsessed with it and how America the best country ever, and that all the other country’s sucks, and blah blah blah.

2. From Shelley’s site: What is going on here? A liberal might tell you that this is a photograph of a slave-holder being cruel to his slaves, but look again: This image has obviously been made on a photocopier a technology which did not exist before the Civil-War. Are we to believe this obviously faked evidence?

FAIL!!! It is not a photo, it is a DRAWING. And they wouldn’t need a photocopier then for us to be able to reproduce drawings now…It’s called preserving pieces of history and then photocopying them WHEN PHOTOCOPIERS ARE INVENTED! gee-zus freakin Christ!

3. From Shelley’s Site: What I’m basically saying is that if the liberals were wrong about smoking, asbestos and global-warming might they also have been lying to us about slavery?

WE WEREN’T WRONG ABOUT ANY OF THOSE! Smoking kills! It’s a well known fact! And yes, republitards, there is a such thing as global warming! Why do you think the ice caps are melting? Why do you think that we didn’t get any snow on Christmas? Is it because God made it hotter? NO! It’s because global warming did!

4. From Shelley’s Site: What’s the worry if liberals distort history, after all they do it all the time every time they deny that Jesus founded the USA.

Yeah. Jesus founded the USA. Totally. Even though if he saw what it was today, he would probably hate it, and even though he was born in Jerusalem, and never even went to the western hemisphere, let alone founded it.

5. From Shelley’s Site: When Obama was running for the presidency one of the policies he was considering was a law that would allow any descendant of “slaves” to rape any white woman under the age of 18 without any legal consequence. 

If anyone in the world believes this, they deserve a nice punch in the face.

Shelley’s Stereotypes

Shelley the Republican loves stereotypes. Well, no. She hates the stereotypes themselves, but loves the idea of stereotypes. Read this list of people we “need to be afraid of” or else. Tell me if this isn’t somehow offensive. 

http://ShelleyTheRepublican.com/2009/03/09/terrorism-2009.aspx

Holy crap! Negro terrorism?!! “Typical towelheads”??? “Slant-eye terrorism”?! If this isn’t racist, I don’t know what is! 

Also, the stuff about the Chinese kid who probably doesn’t even know what “Kill Whitey” means..Yeeha, let’s take all our military forces and dump it on this seven year old! good thinking shelley!

A nice email conversation with Shelley

Today, I sent Shelley Goodman (AKA Republitard Number 1) an email asking her to have a conversation with me. Sure, it may not have ben too polite, but that’s the way it goes. Although she was not as mature as I would have expected. And I did not expect much. Here is our email conversation so far…

Me:

Please reply so I can tell you how retarded you are in every single detail.

Shelley:

How dare you? Didn’t your mother teach you to have some respect?

Me:

I am sorry, but when there is a person that thinks yoga is sinful, lollipops should be made illegal, slavery is a myth, global warming does not exist, obama is a muslim, and that hates nazis, even though you share the similarities of hating jews, black people, and homosexuals, i can’t really tell if you are retarded or not.

P.S. My mother is dead.

Shelley:

The truth hurts, doesn’t it? Good for your mom I guess. She prolly died because you made her life a living hell. And I bet you are bald, too!

Me:

Wow, real mature. I actually loved my mother very much and my family was devastated when she died. She was a devout Christian, too. Thanks for making fun of that. Why don’t you just go back to calling random people you see on the street sinners because they don’t have shirts that say “I HEART JESUS” on 24/7, or whatever you do with your free time. And please stop posting hateful, ungodly things on your stupid, stupid website.

Shelley:

I am just trying to find out the reason. Sorry, but if my daughter Lisa would be as Godless as you are, I would probably die, too

Me:

Do you even read my messages or do you just look at the subject pane?

Shelley:

It’s not worth it to read a message from somebody that hates Jesus.

Me:

I don’t hate Jesus. I just don’t think that he is a redneck asshole like you.

Shelley:

See?  You are a hateful person. By definition you do hate Jesus. Nothing wrong with being a redneck, but very wrong to call a Christian wife and mother “asshole”. You need to change your ways, son.

Me:

Miss, you have said so many mean and hurtful things on your blog, me calling you an asshole does not even begin for us to be even.

Shelley:

I have never said anything mean and hurtful in my life. What you mean is “the truth”.. and the truth hurts sometimes.

Me:

Sigh…some people are just sooo stupid. It’s really said, actually. It’s sad.

She hasn’t replied to that one yet, but I can’t wait until she does. It’s either going to be a really long and laughable response, or a 2 sentence reply making fun of my face.